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5 Favorite Marriage Books

It’s wedding season, and I thought I’d share some of my favorite books about marriage and love. We (or I) read most of these either before or during dating/engagement, but all of them would be just as excellent for an already married couple. In fact, I think it would be awesome to re-read some of them in the future.

Five Favorite Marriage Books

It’s no secret that both Tom and I are pretty huge nerds. The nerdiness takes different forms for both of us but one of our shared nerd passions is reading, and specifically reading aloud with each other. We actually started doing this basically right after we started dating. We spent a good chunk of time in the car, driving to and from dates, mini road trips, or just the normal (and LONG, thank you D.C. traffic) commute of Tom driving me home at night. So we made sure we always had a book going so we could put the travel time to good use.

Want to know the first book we read out loud?

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It was a really light-hearted little thing called Love and Responsibility by Karol Wojtyla. Womp, womp. I believe I was the one who suggested it, and somehow managed not to come on as a) desperate “MRS”-degree-seeker or b) over-achiever. I had already read a good chunk of it in a college course, and Tom had wanted to read it for awhile, so I guess we managed to ignore its obvious implications (I mean, we’d been dating all of 3 weeks or something when we cracked it open…) and plunged into the fascinating mind of the amazing saint who wrote it.

This book is not for the faint of reading heart, but it’s also still pretty accessible for the average reader without a doctorate in theology (and MUCH shorter than TOTB). There are some pretty ground-breaking revelations in there about what exactly it means to be in a healthy marriage relationship, and Wojtyla doesn’t mince words. He covers, among other things:  the meaning of the word “love” and its different forms, sexual shame/shamelessness, chastity– in and out of marriage, NFP/periodic abstinence, causes of female frigidity, annnnd the importance of mutual male/female climax. It is worth the read, whether you’re preparing for marriage, or just trying to find something helpful to read in light of our current marriage crisis.

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Three to Get Married, by Fulton J. Sheen

This book is a more a poetical version of Wojytla’s work, covering many of the same topics on Catholic marital teaching. Sheen has an eloquent way of describing the love between a man and a woman and children as the natural and beautiful fruit of that union. (Another great book to read if you’re disheartened by the war on traditional marriage!). We would often re-read certain paragraphs, because they were just that well-written and meaningful.

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The Four Loves, by C.S. Lewis

 

This is not a “marriage” book per se, but I think an absolute must-read if you are a human being trying to be in relationship with another human being. Tom and I both read this before we ever met but really enjoyed talking about our favorite passages from it. Lewis make sense of the complex meanings of the different types of love we all experience throughout life. There is so much food for thought here, especially in regards to the commitment to life-long that is marriage and the Ultimate Love all of our earthly loves mirror.

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A Severe Mercy, by Sheldon Van Auken

Please tell me you have already read this book! It is so, so, so, so good. Definitely on my Top Ten Books of All Time. Imagine my delight when I met Tom and he was as big a fan of this book as I was! This book is about everything having to do with love: friendship, loyalty, unity, marriage, adventure, and ultimately, loss and sorrow. It’s the love story of Sheldon and his wife, Davey, who dies very young. It’s also, more importantly, a love story between the author and God, specifically about how the loss of his wife ultimately draws him into a relationship with the Lord. Warning: you will cry.

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The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman

I know you’ve taken the love language test, and probably talked the subject to death in college with your friends, but this book is popular for good reason! It identifies the common ways people give and receive love, and at its core is about understanding the way your spouse communicates. Lots of practical advice and quizzes in here (and who doesn’t love a good psycho-analyzing quiz?!).

I’m sure I have read many other book on love, marriage, communication, and so forth, but those are the five that stand out for me as the most impacting, and ones I would come back to again and again.

What are your favorite books on marriage??

(Linking up with 5 Favorites at Efficient Momma). 

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16 thoughts on “5 Favorite Marriage Books

  1. The Fulton Sheen book you mentioned has been on my “to read” list for a while now, and I’ve just added the others you mentioned! (Except 5 Love Languages, which is already a well-loved favorite over here!) Our marriage mentors recently gave us Love & Respect (Eggerichs) which I haven’t yet given the time it deserves, but I’ve been very impressed by what I’ve read so far.

    • Ohhh, I have heard great things about Love and Respect! I’ve leafed through it, but would love to read it all the way through at some point!

  2. These are excellent choices! We are engaged and just finishing up Love and Responsibility and I’m thinking Fulton Sheen is next! Thanks for posting this.

    • Thanks, Kelsey! Congratulations on your engagement! That’s so awesome that you two are reading these things together. It gives you so much to talk about!

  3. I really like Men, Women and the Mystery of Love. It really breaks down Love and Responsibility and it’s a quick, easy read. I haven’t finished it, but I like the Exceptional Seven Percent so far. The Good News about Sex and Marriage is a good one as a reference for specific questions about Church teaching.

    I love the idea of reading books out loud together. We have done audio books together–but only fiction. 🙂

  4. I haven’t read the Love Languages cover to cover, Lowell has, though. It is on my list of “Need To Do” We received Three To Get Married as a wedding gift and I so love that book!
    I read How To Change Your Husband by A Friend of Medjugorje when we were engaged. It isn’t as awful as it sounds, I swear! 😉 There are many things that still stand out in my mind from that book. It mainly pinpoints that our husbands were our husbands FIRST, that they are a first priority even above any children who may eventually come, etc. It is nothing new, but the way some material was presented has really stuck with me even nine years later.
    Together, we read For Couples Only (which is the box set of For Men Only and For Women Only) by Jeff and Shaunti Feldhahn, then switched and read the opposite when Lowell was stationed on the ship in VA. Again, nothing new, but it was kind of eye opening in some areas regarding the What and Why the sexes do/think what they do. It isn’t Catholic, although I recall it being somewhat Christian based, but it definitely helped me in how I communicate things so as to not sound like I am complaining or searching for something to be fixed.
    Lastly, I have read and re-read Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers a hundred times! Now, it isn’t a marriage book per se, but the unconditional love and devotion and going about love and marriage the right way … oh goodness! Angel gets me so angry sometimes, but then Michael is so gentle and patient. Not Catholic, but very Christian, and based off the book of Hosea in the Old Testament. It is on my Top 3 list for sure.

  5. Ohhhh I LOVED Redeeming Love! I thought it would be kind of overly-sentimental, but it was just really good. I should get it to re-read this summer!!

  6. Gottman for sure. The Relationship Cure should be required reading for everyone who wants to get a long with others. 🙂

  7. Pingback: World Marriage/Valentine’s Day! |

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